The journey begins (Part 1)

I'm feeling a little bit of everything, feeling overwhelmed is the correct word. I am excited that I am finally going home but a little heavy hearted for leaving a such a nice town as Malacca. We have established some good friendships here, Malaccans are generally very down-to-earth people and it's so easy to sit and chill around them, they share about their lives, they are willing to go that extra mile to help, now...this is a huge difference between Penangites and Malaccans.  We're going to miss them. Bidding farewells is never easy. But life moves forward, and I am glad that we are finally going back to the place where I know we belong.

So...the journey begins.

 

 

 

 

 

Challenges and sacrifices...

I have been asked many times, "Are you a full time mother now?" What is the definition of a full-time mother? 

 

Being home with my children is the best thing that I could possibly do in my life, I never really considered carrying on with my business once my sweet baby arrived.  Working from home was never my plan. 2 years ago when Hayley came into our lives, I made a decision to ‘let go’ of my business, and to let my partner who is also a good friend of mine to manage it, the least I could do was to be a sleeping partner, as that's the only way I could sit back, (I thought) and receive a small income, best of both worlds, right?  Things did not work out the way I planned and I had to make a choice that was not mine. Long story cut short, I have since been a  working-at-home mom.  Yes, I have the flexibility to work at my own pace, I can choose my own hours (not all the time though), take time off when needed.

 

2 years later, today, I adore what I do and it would be hard to give it up, especially when we are talking about the raise in the living standards which call for double income earners per family, about frugality and money management, is it still possible to raise a family on single income? The impacts of having a sole breadwinner in a family can be challenging in this season of life. One can only imagine. However, it’s not all perfect. There have been hard times as well. As a business owner, you know how easy it can be to push yourself too hard, to let the lines between personal and work time blur too much, to allow priorities to become out of order, and for relationships to suffer.  A business owner who works at home, I am required to be on call to provide urgent support at almost any time and in this aspect, I find it really hard to know how, when and where to keep my laptop and smartphone in check. It is an issue I deliberately manage every single day, though not always successfully.

 

So, solution? I self-imposed a strict working schedule, only check emails in the morning, usually in the wee hours of the morning when she is fast asleep or during her naps in the afternoons. I needed a strict schedule for two main reasons:

• even if there was no urgent matter looming, I found myself responding to so many e-mails some of which do not need urgent attention, so much so that I couldn’t get the things in the house done, like preparing meals for the whole family, laundry which usually piles up for a week, running errands, etc. 
 
• if I did find an urgent issue pending it would add so much stress to my day, and to my little girl who could sense the tension

However, my so-called plan backfires most of the time. Just last week, I was busy attending to a flurry of emails and a critical conference call with my associates in the US on an important issue. It lasted for hours.  Would anything be more important than preparing a breakfast meal for a growing toddler? My girl had to skip the most important meal of the day, poor little girl.  I know I should not thank Disney Junior for her availability to baby sit my girl the entire morning, but the way things turned out, left me with no choice.

Sacrifices have to be made.  Things I have sacrificed, but have learned the hard way.

TIME with God. I have heard this over and over again, "just when we think we don't have enough time, that's when we need to make time" 

 

TIME with my girl.  Knowing that she will be in preschool soon, I just want to spend more time with her.

TIME with my dearest one.  Need I say more?
 
Beauty sleep 
 
Work out.  How I need that!

I am not regretting the decision that I've made but I have at times regretted the way I have done things, which could have been better or more efficient.  Along the way, I have had to make a lot of changes and adjustments to work less but smarter and....I’m still learning.

- Michele - 

Happy Birthday!

September 24th was hubby's birthday. We had a simple birthday celebration.

Like most birthdays, hubby always tries to shrug it off like it does not matter and tells me not to make a big deal over his birthday.  His quote of life: Birthdays/Valentines/etc are simply just another day.

But hubby, (if you are reading this), I beg to differ.  Birthday is a time to celebrate who we are, how far we have come and to celebrate in advance what lies in the year ahead. It's also a time to allow those around us to celebrate the special 'you' that God has created and placed in our lives.

To the man that I have known for close to a decade now, thank you for being who you are, for being the amazing father that you are to our princess, a caring and loving son and above all, for being my wonderful husband~the love of my life.   I know my life would not have meant half as much, without you in it.

 Happy Birthday, my dear.

Oopsie...where is the candle?

My Baby is Growing up!

Short conversation between daddy and little Hayley, that took place this morning.

Daddy: Hayley girl, daddy's going to work, see you in the evening
(Daddy was escorted to the door with a..
Hayley: buh-bye daddy
(then came the hug)

Quite a heartwarming sight, I must say. My little girl is growing up..just too fast. I was also wondering at the same time, if I was the one leaving the house for work every morning, would my little girl do just the same? I don't have the answer but being a stay-at-home mom, you have her beside you the whole day, every day, 24/7, it might just be different kind of experience, an experience that stays with you for a lifetime. I love being a stay at home mom, no regrets for the decision that I made 19months ago and I don't think I will trade off anything to be with her, nurturing her and sharing my part of the world with her. It's a joy to be able to be there with her when she took her first steps, when she uttered her first word and witnessing her intellectual growth in every aspect.

Hayley is 1

Hayley turned 1 on 7th July 2011. We had a wonderful party with our family and friends on 9th July 2011. I promise I will share pictures as soon as I have them sorted out. We took about 1000+ shots. Yes, you read correctly, 1000+ pictures of Hayley. There will be a separate post on Hayley’s birthday party (with pictures, of course:)

I am starting to feel like my baby is no longer a baby. She’s all grown up and she has ‘officially’ entered the ‘do it myself’ stage. She no longer needs me to rock her to sleep, I miss how she would fall asleep in my arms after a few lullabies. She no longer needs me to feed her with the bottle as she prefers to hold it herself and last month, she started showing interest in spoon-feeding herself. I think I won’t be wrong to think how quickly infants turn into independent toddlers when they hit this age. All of a sudden, their tiny personality blossoms and they are constantly letting you know their wants, desires as well as their dislikes and frustrations.

Little Hayley will now screech quite loudly when she wants something and it is not going her way, especially when she is sitting in her high chair and she thinks we are taking too long to get her food or she thinks that we have neglected her when we leave her alone in her play area for too long. She will also start looking for things and frown at you when you take them away from her, especially if it's something she really wants and she is not supposed to have it.

At times you can grin at her and say, “Yeah, good job girl” and her face brightens up and she will start squirming and kicking her legs with excitement.

Despite her desire to become independent, she is still exhibiting strong separation anxiety and she hates it whenever I put her in her playpen or play area alone, she will scream and cry. So most of the time I will put her on her playmat with her toys where she could be assured that I’m not out of her sight, while I am in the kitchen. With separation anxiety, she is also exhibiting stranger-anxiety. I am actually ‘happy’ because feeling the attachment of your child is something that makes me as mama feel good. But I reckon this being a natural phase of growing up and soon, she will be a sociable little person.

We have recently started letting her watch cartoons. She loves ‘My Friends, Tigger and Pooh’. This has been on repeat mode for a month now on our player, we have tried Magical Schoolbus, Veggietales and some other educational cartoons, she rejects them all. Well, at least Pooh bear keep her occupied for a little longer so that I could get some work done. However, her cartoon time is limited to 20mins per day, (knowing the negative effects of it for babies her age)

Hayley is a ‘crawler’. It is rather cute to watch this little girl crawl around our house. She’s a slow walker though. She can only walk if we hold her hand.

Everyday Hayley is babbling more and more. I love to stop whatever I am doing just to listen to her. She loves it when we respond to her.

She likes to touch my face when I'm feeding her, I don't know why she does that, but I actually love it, do all babies do this?

Oh, she greets me ‘Mama’ when she sees me and ‘Papa’ when she sees daddy. She has done us proud.

For now, here’s her 12th and 13th month update

Important Milestones: First birthday, greets us mama and papa, spoon-feeding herself cereal, partially potty trained with poo poo


Physical development:
Weight: 9.9kg
Height: 79cm
Teething: She has finally sprout 4 upper teeth and 2 bottom in addition to her 2 natal teeth that were present at the time of birth.
Hair: Growing but looking pretty much 'botak':P

My darling

Breaking the Blog Hiatus

Welcome back me!

As you probably have/haven’t noticed, I have not been doing a good job here, really. Being on blogging hiatus has been quite addicting. I thought I haven’t really left blogging for a long time but I realized it’s been almost 6months since my last update. Sometimes the virtual world would have to take a back seat especially when our real world affairs need all our time and attention.

More updates to follow.

From North to South

Have you ever been told that if you have to move out of your nest, you can make any place work for you? I have been making Malacca work for me for the past 3 weeks. I can't say that I am not adapting well, but Malacca is not my first choice (if I have to move out of Penang,) nor is it my second or even third, really.

Following hubby to a new state for the good of his career is never my dream. I have friends who have left their jobs for just this one reason and I used to ask them if they've ever regretted. I've never had any intention of leaving everything, leaving my home, not just yet. I did it anyway because I know I had to. But no matter how much of an idealist you are, time, in the face of reality, will gradually but surely squash one's idealism because I am now seeing things in ways that I didn’t see or quite understand before, how easily people can settle in, how it would not matter much whether your work is going to be affected because it would still be the same, how it would not matter much even if the new place is so foreign to you that keeps making you think you’re all alone because the fact is, you’re not alone. The fact is, I have my dearest hubby and Hayley right here with me. I like this saying "A place is only as good as the people you know in it" (quoted from the movie 'I am Number Four'). How true.

So here we are, in a place we now call home. I have no idea how long we’re going to be here, (as I'm still holding out for my first choice, hahaha) but we will be here long enough. Long enough for an adventure, perhaps.


Day 1


We were busy unloading our barangs-barangs from the lorry, here's our little girl, just woke up from her nap



"Pa, Ma, why dressed me in batik? are you all done?..I'm bored here"

Day 2



Me and my girl @ the front porch of our house

The rest of our adventurous journey - to be continued

Personal Time

I have completed this post a long time ago somehow it wasn't published. Why? I hope it's not some early signs of aging - forgetfulness that is (this post shall be backdated to March 6th 2011).

I've had my personal time away from my baby for the first time, yes for the FIRST time in 8 months. I just came back from Jay Chou's concert held at Stadium Bukit Jalil Indoor Stadium. I had a blast at the concert even though I was constantly thinking about Hayley. Thanks to my sister-in-law for taking over my duties for 4 long hours. It wasn't certainly not a breeze, huh, but glad to know that Hayley was very comfortable staying in with you. Special thanks to Lai Seng. I haven't seen a man being so patient with a baby, I'm sure Hayley did remind him a lot about baby Geraldine back then :)

Well, Jay's concert was awesome. I have been a fan of Jay for many years now but I have never once been to his concert. So this time around, I thought it would be a good opportunity since we are living downsouth now.

(And for the record, my dear hubby bought me a Concert DVD (live in Taipei) for our wedding anniversary gift. Of all things, Jay Chou DVD? As unromantic as it may sound, I love it, thanks dear :) and probably he realized the inappropriateness of DVD as a gift, he got me my favorite perfume. Cute.)



Ok, back to the concert. The stadium was packed with people and it took us a good 30mins just to enter the hall. When he finally appeared on a 3D light image of himself playing an electric guitar, people were screaming their lungs out. A young pregnant lady who sat right beside me, (she might be into her last trimester looking at the size of her stomach) was screaming like nobody's business and I thought, hey you have a little one in your tummy, you shouldn't be here in the first place)...oh well, some people just don't bother. Anyway, I had this thought that it would be great if Jay turns into an Evangelist singer or something (since he has publicly acknowledged his allegiance to Christ and also, he was seen working with a team of Filipino missionaries and musicians)

Overall it was a quite an experience for me watching a live performance as great as this. Truly a concert where music meets the hearts of people of all ages.

Here's something to remember

Hayley's First Christmas

It took me forever to write this post! I took a hiatus from blogging to enjoy the holidays with my family.

2010 had been the year of firsts for my family. I gave birth to a lovely baby girl. We held her full moon and dedication party, we celebrated daddy’s birthday and our 6th wedding anniversary for the first time with our baby .... and of course, there was Christmas! Hayley’s first Christmas!


Beautifully decorated for Christmas at Straits Quay

We had a blast on Christmas eve with our cg friends and our invited friends. It was more than just a party as we had the opportunity to share the love of Christ with our friends. Christmas is indeed a great evangelism opportunity.

Christmas Cell Harvest at our cg leader's residence

On Christmas day, after Christmas service and lunch with our friends, we spent the whole evening relaxing at the poolside. We pretty much had the poolside area to ourselves. Our little girl was so full of energy. I could not have imagined a better place to be with Hayley and my dear hubby, it was just perfect for a relaxing evening, just spending time together like old times. It’s OK to indulge a craving for French fries and Coke every now and then and so we had McD’s for tea.


Does wearing an oversized cap make you look cute? 'das is...total cuteness :D


daddy's girl


Hayley, Daddy, Mommy, one happy family

After Christmas tea at the poolside, we had a lovely time catching up with my parents over dinner as we talked about Hayley (most of the time) and our lives.

Christmas 2011, one of my quietest but most wonderful Christmas I could have wished for.

Oh yes, she took her first big road trip to Malacca for the New Year holidays. She did so well! She mostly slept and we had minimal fussing. We stopped every 2-3 hrs to give her a break from the bassinet, change her, and feed her.

Travelling with a 6-month old, we did not do much sightseeing but we did loads of shopping (a usual chore for me =D)

Holiday in Malacca


Little Miss Hayley ...shying away from the camera?..or was it because of the mosquito bite on her forehead? =D.


honey, one more with mommy...


she just loves this..


Honey, you're just too young for starbucks coffee....next time, okie?

Holiday in KL

On the way back from Malacca, we stopped by KL and met up with my sister-in-law, Jeannie and family. Thank you to the sweet family for the lovely time spent together.

Skimp or Splurge?

13th Nov - Venue: MC @ Gurney Plaza
J: Are you sure you going to get that one? Does our girl need it?
Me: Never mind la...good deal, 40% off, sales in MC don't come around often...it's worth it...

20th Nov - Venue: PP @ Parkson,Gurney Plaza
Me: Look at this dress, and that matching headband, it's lovely, don't you think so?
J: Yes, it's nice..but no need to buy la..
Me: It's at 30% off and on top of that, if you buy 3 items you get additional 10% discount wor....it's worth it...

So, I was a victim of the buy 3 get additional 10%! deal. I actually needed only 2 items but I walked out with 4 items instead, because of the other buy 4 items, get 15% discount! deal. Lost 'x' amount of money, gained 2 additional items she had absolutely no need for (in fact, I do not need to get her any of those items, they are purely 'nice-to-haves') - just to get a good deal. So..I splurged without thinking. I splurged despite knowing for a fact that my little girl is going to outgrow those items in a couple of months.

As I sat down and thought about my spending behaviour today, this article which I read a few days ago came to mind and I thought I should post it here. These are some really good pointers to help us not to be a victim of slick marketing or even in all our good intentions.
-----
Article extracted from Parenthood (November 2010 Edition).

HOLD YOUR WALLETS, NEW PARENTS!
There are some things your babies really don't need.

You walk into a baby store. You see shelves of shelves of interesting baby products. You are tempted to buy everything in sight.But hold on a second. Put your wallet back into your bag and find out what are the things that your baby actually does not need. That way you can save and set aside the money for more important things, like your child's education fund.

Electronic Toys
As soon as your baby is able to grasp things, he will be more interested in making noises and shaking a simple rattle to entertain himself. In fact, it is better to let your child learn how to self-stimulate and not be dependent on flashy, complicated baby gadgets and gizmos.

Baby Shoes
Yes, the shoes are adorable but buy your baby a comfy pair only when he shows early signs of walking. When your baby wears shoes during his crawling months, he may repeatedly kick them off out of discomfort. That meas you have to keep picking them up and putting them back on.

Expensive Designer Clothes
In all honesty, your baby will not know the difference between an expensive designer shirt and a cheaper one. More affordable shirts made of cotton are often more comfortable for your baby than a designer top with frills and laces. Another point to take not of: your baby will eventually outgrow his clothes, so why spend so much more on shirts and pants which your baby's not going to wear for long?

Baby changing table
Once your baby is potty trained, the table will no longer be used. So instead of getting a special piece of furniture for diaper changing, why not get a more affordabe changing pad nad place it on your bed or dresser? As for his lotion bottles, cream tubes, diapers and others, you can easily place them in a box, instead of a special baby case.

Specially Designed Diaper Bags
A backpack or duffel bag you have at home already will work just fine. Some diaper bags in the shops have too many compartments anyway, which can be a hassle when you're searching for things.
-----

We're heading to Ikea this weekend to shop for baby furnitures and other household stuff in preparation for our new place, this time round, I must skimp and not splurge on 'nice-to-haves'!:-D

My first mommy mistake

I have been having wrist pain ever since I started using a manual breast pump. It hurts when I spread my index and thumb apart. I went to the doctor of course and was diagnosed as having tendonitis or what they call it repetitive strain injury. All these while, the pain was tolerable therefore I did not bother to take any medications as prescribed or wear any braces. Last Saturday, as usual, after feeding her, she was asleep on our bed so I carried her wanting to transfer her to her cot, all out of a sudden I experienced a shooting pain on both my hands, it was so painful that I lost my grip on her and dropped her right at the edge of my bed, another inch she will be off the bed. I felt terrible as a mother. I felt it was my mistake because this incident is preventable if I had treated my wrist injury 3months ago. I am feeling even more terrible for not being able to cuddle her that often now except for feeding, until I'm fully recovered.

To Co-Sleep or Not to Co-Sleep?

Before Hayley was born, hubby and I have discussed over it that we would not let our baby sleep in our bed for fear we would have a 10 year old child STILL sleeping in our bed years later. Oh well..that whole philosophy went out the window when she arrived.

Hayley has been sleeping in our bed since birth. When you are nursing it is so much easier to nurse a baby in our your own beds. You don't have to walk to a crib to get them, therefore, I pretty much nurse in my sleep now. Both of us sleep well through the night and wake up fresh and well-rested!

She goes to bed around 10 now and wakes up to nurse around 5 am. So theoretically, now is the perfect time to move her to her crib because she does not wake up for feeding constantly. But I have been putting the idea on the back burner for awhile now, I like having her in my bed. I am so used to talking/singing to her until we both fall asleep. Her daddy even gives it a BIG NO to the whole idea of 'separation'. It worries me to even think she'll be by herself in her own room.

I'm thinking whether I should really need to start transitioning her to her crib now or later, perhaps when she turns 5mos? In any event, I am hoping the transition will be harder for me than for her.

Something that I will always remember...

Hayley turned her head up from nursing and gave me her sweetest heart melting smile today. Then I gave her little face a kiss and she tucked her head into the crook of my neck. I will always remember this beautiful experience.

My sweet little 2-month old..

I guess the last two months have pretty much gotten away from me. Hayley turns 2 months about a week ago. Well, I must admit that being a new mommy has been overwhelming at times. My house has been a mess, laundry in baskets, sometimes in the washer or dryer for days, meals not always planned or sometimes no meals at all, dishes in the sink, grime in the tubs and numerous unreturned calls. I guess it's just not my time to get it all together. However, it has been the greatest 2 months of my life, filled with more joy than I had known possible. Amongst the endless chaos there has been pleasure in the small things that make being a mommy so rewarding. And now...I look forward to the months and years to come as we both continue on with our journey into parenthood.

This is what I meant by....rewarding...

She puts a smile in my face everyday. A girl friend of mine once shared with me about praying for a cheerful baby throughout my whole pregnancy, I did and here's the fruits. Hayley is indeed a cheerful baby.

The Glamorous Life of a Housewife - Part 1

I have always dreamed of being a housewife, [or call us Chief Household Officer (CHO):P], making the family that God has blessed me with into a warm and enchanting home, after all that's a lifetime ministry for women....but at the same time, I wanted to being able to have a business (of any kind) running at the same time for personal and economic reasons. I think 'the dual-income family' system still works in every household in today's society, especially if you have kids coming along. Even a part-time job would be good.

So, after 11 years of school, 5 years of college and 11 years in the workforce, by the grace of God, I finally achieved my goal and am living my dream. God has blessed me with the most endearing hubby and we will be having a new addition to our family whom I know will bring us constant joy and bundles of giggles.

I had a blast the past 1 month being a full time CHO. I feel really good, although I'm still in the learning process. Hubby said that I should continue on with my role as CHO for as long as I want to. Maybe he wants me to stay home and LEARN to manage our home. Right at this point, I should add a little disclaimer here that I'm not by any means a CHO pro.

I said 'learn' as we both know that full well I'm not good in organizing things around the house. I never have thought I would fare so poorly in managing a house until I'm actually on the job. Well, let me list down a few basic roles of a CHO here :-

1) Cooking or buying food

I have been not cooking as I'm not fit to do so right now, but I'm preparing and equipping myself for the upcoming months. I have compiled a whole bunch of recipes for toddlers, and healthy food for adults. Check it out in my next post. I think I'm becoming one health freak, don't know why.

2) Cleaning

Cleaning is tough work. Oh, there are 3 things that I must learn to like....a) taking out trash b) removing cob webs c) cleaning the mess from lizard poops.. Sorry for the details...but I hate lizards, I wish they never exist!!

3) Budget and control of expenditures

A confession to make here, I am not a budgeting pro. I wish I were, but numbers just aren't my thing. I avoid them like a vegan avoids a plate of red hot delicious fried chicken! In fact, I really detest numbers. They make my head hurt! Hubby has been our financial controller all these years, but I'm working on mastering the skills in this aspect so that I can work in partnership with him so that he does not have to be too stressed out, doing all the budgeting at mid and end of every month.

4) Main caregiver to our hubby and children

For our hubby - some random sweet deeds you can do for your hubby (apart from emotional support)

- iron all his clothes and fold them nicely in the wardrobe and arrange them according to the colours of the clothings...trust me, they will be so pleased :D

- make him a cuppa of cold beverage or cold sky juice when he gets home especially if he has to travel a long distance back home from workplace

- wash his comb regularly coz, maybe he doesn't wash it often like we ladies do

- help wipe his glasses, watch screen and handphone screen

- check if his cleansing foam (if he uses one) has enough supply for the month

- check his toothbrush if they are still usable

the list goes on and on.... these are just some of the things that I find pleasure in doing whilst I can coz when you have children around you, you may not have the time to do it anymore....

For our baby

I think I will be able to share more once our little one arrives...just going to wait and let our whole new life unfold and I certainly look forward to taking on my new role as a mother and a caregiver to my child.